If you wish to get married at the Cathedral, please read the following first (click here)
1. Cost of wedding
• The money you pay is your contribution to the maintenance and upkeep of the church building. Consequently, the amount varies depending on the church, it's location, it's size, it's historicity, etc. Beautiful historical churches are harder to keep clean, for example, so the fee tends to be higher, while simple parish churches tend to be cheaper. As well, if the church has a large congregation the fee is usually smaller - because the money the congregation puts in the collection basket on Sunday partly goes to subsidize the costs of your wedding.
• A Catholic priest does not receive any sort of personal fee or commission for presiding a wedding, except a small stipend if there is a Mass. In the Montreal diocese, that stipend is $5 (not missing any zero here). As a token of thanks, a small donation in an envelope can be given to the priest at the end of the service by the bride's father (at your discretion).
• Given that a church wedding includes an official presider, guidance for the marriage preparation, a location that requires minimal decoration AND the grace of God, the fee is a bargain.
2. Rehearsal
Prior to the day itself you will need to get together with the priest to discuss arrangements. He can help you through the choice of hymns and readings. There is usually a rehearsal for all involved in the ceremony (those taking part in the wedding march, Best Man and flower girls, readers, ring bearer…) a couple of days before the wedding.
3. The Service
The service can be broken into two parts, the marriage itself, which is a religious uniting of husband and wife, but also includes the legal and civil aspects. The second part is usually performed when both are practicing Catholics: this is the Mass where both receive Communion. In mixed marriages the Mass is usually skipped but the service remains the same.
- The Bride and her father (or whoever has been chosen to give her away) walk down the aisle to join the Groom and Best Man, usually accompanied by the wedding march (the choice is yours).
- The priest will give a short introduction followed by a first reading from the Bible. The readings are chosen by the couple and are read by someone of their choice.
- A chosen hymn is sung/music is played or there is another reading (psalm).
- The priest will read the gospel followed by the homily.
- The exchanging of vows.
- Blessing of the rings and the couple.
- Universal prayers are read.
- The celebration of Mass with another Blessing and Communion (optional)
- Final blessing.
- The couple and their witnesses sign the registry while hymns/music is played.
- The happy couple make their way out of the church.
4. Church etiquette (guidelines for everyone; spread the word!)
Attire
People of all ages should dress conservatively. Coat and tie is appropriate for men, but not required. Women should wear modest dresses, skirts and slacks; please no tank tops, short skirts or tight-fitting clothing.
Arrival
Guests should arrive and be in their pew at least 15 minutes before the wedding begins. This helps reduce distractions and provides time to get settled. Sometimes, there may be two or more weddings in a row or someone involved in the celebration may have other engagements. Therefore, regularly remind the main parties about punctuality. Make it clear on the wedding invitation that things will start on time ("sharp"). Too often, guests assume that since the bride and groom will arrive late, they can arrive late too. Reminding them beforehand, with phone calls, e-mails, etc. will help them make the necessary preparations (i.e. clothes, hair, makeup, etc.) early enough so they show up on time. If the groom and bride are late, some elements of the ceremony may be cut short.
Quiet time
A marriage liturgy is not the time to socialize with family and friends (that's why there is a reception after the ceremony ). Instead, sit quietly or pray. Turn off cell phones and pagers. Gum or candy are not allowed in church. During Mass, be careful not to drop or bang the kneelers. If ill or disabled, it is acceptable to remain seated during the ceremony.
Communion
Baptized catholics who receive Holy communion should do it with reverence, bow slightly and respond “Amen". If receiving the host by hand, place the left hand over the right (or opposite if you are left handed) and raise your arms slightly. No one is obliged to come forward for communion. People who do not share the catholic faith or do not feel ready can unite themselves to all present by a moment of personal prayer or meditation.
5. Other valuable information
Please refer to the following Marriage Preparation webpage by Fr. Thomas Dowd for more details on the legal preparation, the ceremony preparation, the pastoral preparation, and preparing your party and honeymoon. P.S. Although it is not always possible for him to attend, don't forget to invite the priest to your reception.
